I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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