It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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