Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
no, he came in my armpit
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
3 2 1 whiskey
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
