How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
