Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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