I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
