:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
