no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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