...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
