I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize