one might say we're banned from that church
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
zippers are such a cool invention
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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