He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I didn't notice because vodka
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
