wat bout pragnant strippers??
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
