I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
