Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
