Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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