when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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