I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I can't put those talents on a resume
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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