we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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