you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
