i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
