i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
