I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
