Buhtt sex?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
