Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
