he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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