did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
