Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
