Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
