Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
