I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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