we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My vagina just clenched in fear
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
