I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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