i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
