im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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