Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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