theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize