I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
