i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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