I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
