get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize