he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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