I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
