hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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