I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
