I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize