I wannas sexs uuuuu
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
No subtext here. People are naked.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize