Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Randomize