Nicole vs. Life
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Randomize
