"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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