Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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