actually, I'm a sock model
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
