"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
