It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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