Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
