Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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