i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you win again, gameday.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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