It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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